- What's Sprite's favorite sport?
Bubbling – it's all about the "fizz-ical" activity! - Rahul: Tomorrow's my wife's birthday.
Amit: Nice! Did you figure out the gift?
Rahul: I asked her last week, and she said, "Something with diamonds." So, I'm getting her a deck of playing cards. 🎁💎🃏 - Where do pencils spend their vacations?
Pencil-vania! - Oxygen and magnesium went on a date. OMG, it was so electrifying that they bonded instantly! 💥⚡
- Some office co-workers are like clouds.
When they disappear it becomes a beautiful day at work! - Linda: I had a talk with a nutritionist today.
Mark: Really? What did they say?
Linda: They were like, "You should eat 1,200 calories a day."
Mark: And what did you ask?
Linda: I just wondered, "OK, and how many a night?" - The planets decided to throw a huge party in space. Mars brought some alien dip, while Saturn showed off its rings. Jupiter being the biggest planet, brought the most food. Mercury was super fast and was done with everything quickly. Venus was looking stunning as usual. And the Earth? Well it just brought crackers since everyone liked watching its fireworks.
- Why did the physics equation ghost the human equation?
Because they realized they were on different planes of existence.
- Wife: Honey, my smart phone just fell into a big mug of tea but didn't get wet.
Husband: Really? How's that possible?
Wife: Because it was TEA powder! - What do you call a mathematician who's befuddled by their own equations?
An arithmetic enigma! - Why did the lawyer lose the case?
Because he wasn't wearing a good lawsuit! - Man: You’re a bit fat aren’t you.
Women: Tell me something I don’t know!
Man: You are sitting on my friend. - The early bird gets the worm, Rise before the dawn and your success will be firm, But I woke at sunrise to claim my rightful prize, Only, to find the worm had flown away with my dreams!
- Son: Dad, why did the sock refuse to go to the party?
Father: Hmm, I wonder. Why?
Son: It was feeling a bit low because it heard the shoes were always the ones getting the "sole" of the attention! - When life gives you lemons, make lemonade that's too bitter for any thirsty aide.
- Chris: "Hey, have you ever wondered what Santa's helpers are called?"
Megan: "No idea, what are they called?"
Chris: "Subordinate Clauses!" - I took a new job with higher pay,
Thought I'd finally have wealth and comfort someday,
But the boss is a jerk, the work's a grind,
And money can't buy happiness I find. - I asked him how was I looking. He replied "fine". Just fine? I guess people lose their taste after covid!
- Me: Hey Alexa, I recently lost my job."
Alexa: That's unfortunate; would you like me to give you a joke to cheer you up?
Me: Okay, go on.
Alexa: What is the distinction between a you are a large kfc combo?
Me: Idk
Alexa: "A large combo can feed an entire family." - "The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive. And invest in a good Wi-Fi. 🧭🌻"
- John: You came home early from your date, huh? What went down?
Roommate: Well, after dinner, she invited me up to her flat. We had a...
John: Go on, don't leave me hanging!
Roommate: We had a heated debate about the correct way to pronounce GIF.
John: Wait, seriously? That's it?
Roommate: Yeah, tensions escalated, and I decided to retreat before it turned into a textual war. 🤷♂️
- Show More Jokes