- Liam: Did you hear about that Saudi prince's request in Rome?
Nora: No, what happened?
Liam: He asked for naked statues to be covered up because his 9-year-old wife was offended. - Where do people like to have heated conversations?
In a sauna - Alex: Hey, Mark had us cracking up with this one. What's the deal with a gay dinosaur?
Jamie: (laughs) I can't even imagine. What's the punchline?
Alex: It's a mega-sore-ass! Like, mega-saur-us... mega-sore-ass! - What do you call a magician who's in the business of spilling secrets?
A spoiler sorcerer! - "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up. And if tea helps. โ๐ฅ"
- As the officer handed her a water bottle, she looked at it and exclaimed, "Is this a sobriety test or a hydration challenge?"
- A frustrated man went to see a psychiatrist and told him.
My life is dull. I am tired. Nobody understand me. The psychiatrist replies "What do you mean by that?" - My husband said he wanted to make our marriage like a fairytale. So now we argue over who gets to be the dragon.
- When I asked my GPS for directions to success, it said, "Make a U-turn whenever possible - you missed your exit 10 years ago."
- Why did the neutron avoid humans?
It didn't want to get charged up with their emotional baggage. - What did the Muslim man say to his wife on their wedding day?
Which one? - Why did the writer trade their pen for a rake?
To unearth a new chapter in life as a gardener โ they're digging deep to cultivate both plots and plots! - "Mom, watch! I'm a 3D printer!"
"Sweetie, close the door if you're in the middle of your little break." - Why did the ink stay out late?
It was having too much "blotter" fun and lost track of time! - "Can I call someone to pick you up?" the officer offered. She hiccupped and said, "Call Batman, maybe he can give me a lift in the Batmobile!"
- Trees have it so coolโ they can just "leaf" their problems behind whenever they want!
- "The best way to predict the future is to create it. Or just binge-watch fantasy shows. ๐๐ฎ"
- Life is a roller coaster, and siblings are the ride-or-die passengers. ๐ข๐ซ
- Wife: I just donโt understand how somebody could guess my PIN number!
Husband: What was your PIN?
Wife: The day emperor Aurangzeb died bringing about the end of mughals in India
Husband: Oh, and when is that..?
Wife: In 1707 - Kapil: Vijay, did you hear about the fashion-forward alligator with a vest?
Vijay: Nope, Kapil. What's the deal?
Kapil: It's an Investigator, out there solving "cold-blooded" cases in style! - Why did the Corvette start a music band?
It wanted to create 'accelerating' beats!
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