- My friend said “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” So, I said, "Your girlfriend and I are in a relationship."
- Inspired by a home improvement show, my friend attempted to build a bookshelf. It's standing... well, leaning, with the confidence of a catwalk model.
An Indian, a Pakistani, and a Bangladeshi were engrossed in a cricket debate. The Indian confidently declared, "Our batsmen are absolutely top-notch!" The Pakistani fired back, "Hold on, our bowlers take the cake any day!" The Bangladeshi chimed in with a sigh, "Well, while we wait, maybe someday our team will score a coveted spot in the World Cup…"- What do you call a doctor who faints at the sight of a band-aid?
A medical melodramatist! - What made the router to apply for a new job?
It desired to upgrade to a position that provided more "networking" opportunities! - Traffic police issued a mandate, helmet for backseat passenger in scooter is mandatory.
Wife opened her wardrobe, and declared, “No, how I will get matching helmet colors for all my dresses!” - What did the pen stand say to the pens?
Don't worry, I'll always 'stand' by you, even if you're ink-clined to be a bit messy! - Got thrown out a Strip club last night for using monopoly money. I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake pumped up women.
- Son: Dad, did you hear about the smartphone that joined social media?
Father: Really? What's it up to?
Son: It's trying to make some "byte"-sized connections and hoping for a strong Wi-Fi signal of friendship! - What do you call a mathematician who's befuddled by their own equations?
An arithmetic enigma! - What was the cow's favorite passtime?
To go to the mooo-vies - The stomach and the human had a conversation. The stomach said, "I've been feeling acidic lately." The human replied, "Well, I did have that spicy burrito last night." 🌯🤢
- Humans and toast have something in common – we both get a little crispy under pressure.
- The cat tried its paw at motorcycling but couldn't handle the "purr-fect" balance between cool and klutzy. 🤣🤣🐱 🏍️
- Why did the comedian change his name to Chuck?
Because he wanted to make sure everyone had a "Chuckle" at his jokes! - Kwame: You heard that joke about the left butt cheek talking to the right one?
Amina: No, what's the scoop?
Kwame: It said, "If we stick together, we can stop this mess." - Nucleus Joke
"Humans bond, break up, and react – it's like a sitcom in the atomic world." - A man walks into a casino and notices a sign that says, "If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER."
He considers it for a bit before dialling the number. When they responded, he said, "I have an ace and a five." The dealer has a seven. What should I do?" - "All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream. And some dreams involve cakes. 💭"
- "Mom, watch! I'm a 3D printer!"
"Sweetie, close the door if you're in the middle of your little break." - What do you name someone who lacks both a body and a nose?
Nobody knows!
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